When I was 18, I found out that my mother had given up a child for adoption before I was born. I was raised as an only child, and so this information was a startling discovery, and one that left a gaping hole in my life. I searched for several years to no avail, gave up, searched again, gave up. You get the picture.
A couple of weeks ago I found the birth family of a high school girlfriend for her and this has renewed my energy and zeal to find my brother. And I'll use every resource available to me to get the word out. You never know who might be reading. So...
I am in search of my brother who was born BABY BOY LUND in Dubuque, Iowa on 7/19/1968 at Finley Hospital. He may have been adopted by a family that lived in Cedar Rapids and the adoptive mother may have been a teacher. And sadly to say, that is all the information I have on him.
A lot of people don't understand what drives me when it comes to this and I'm not sure I do either. But I know that there is a piece of me missing and I hope to find it and connect with it before I die. And if I don't, I will know that I did what I could to find him. I've even gotten involved in a letter writing campaign to try and convince state legislators to change the Open Records Law. I hope that it'll make a difference, but...we'll see.
And to keep this book-related, an absolutely fabulous book regarding adoption is THE GIRLS WHO WENT AWAY:THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF WOMEN WHO SURRENDERED CHILDREN FOR ADOPTION IN THE DECADES BEFORE ROE V. WADE by Anne Fessler. And I say fabulous, even though I've only made it through 147 pages. I just ordered a copy of my own so I can read it at my own pace, but I got to a point where every single story made me cry. I ached for the women featured and I ached for my mother and what she had gone through. Check it out; it's a fascinating study of the mindset back in the day.
The first sentence is:
My mother told me that on my first three birthdays she lit a special candle on my cake for the young woman who had given birth to me.
After writing this post, while reading other blogs, I came across this quiz and took it:
Your Birthdate: September 19
You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested.
You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them.
Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others.
You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself.
Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence
Your weakness: Suspicion of others
Your power color: Eggplant
Your power symbol: Spade
Your power month: October
And this is me to a T. A CAPITAL ONE. Huh.
An interesting side note about birthdays. Talking to an aunt of mine on my mother's side, double birthdays are a regular occurrence on that side of the family. My mother and her shared the same birthday number (29th), my brother and I share the same birthday number (19th) and two cousins who are sisters share the same birthday number (14th). Kinda cool.